Cope effectively with emotion regulation strategies
In the attachment series I wrote earlier, I explained how important the bond established with the caregiver (mother) in the first years of life is and how it affects us in the later years of our lives. The way we connect doesn't just affect our interpersonal relationships.It is also highly influential on the way we perceive ourselves and the outside world. While positive self-perception and self-awareness positively affect the way we deal with problems in the outside world, negative self-perception and low self-awareness limit our ways of coping with problems. As a result, it is known that securely attached individuals use adaptive emotion regulation strategies, while insecure and avoidant individuals tend to use maladaptive emotion regulation strategies.
What is emotion regulation?
The theory of emotion regulation is a subject that is emphasized a lot in coping with stress. Achieving awareness of emotions is not enough to achieve good mental and spiritual health. In order to better cope with stress, we need to be aware of how we manage our negative emotions and how we react in these situations.
People regulate their emotions to change the degree or type of emotion they feel. For example, a person transforms an intense feeling of anger so that it can be more functional at a point where it does not benefit him. Because being exposed to negative emotional experiences for a long time is not beneficial for physical and mental health.
However, after negative experiences, this natural regulation mechanism no longer works properly. People with insecure attachment and low self-esteem resort to methods such as catastrophizing, suppressing the problem, or avoiding their negative emotions. Those who use adaptive emotion regulation strategies, on the other hand, approach their negative emotional experiences (anger, anxiety, fear, guilt, humiliation, disgust) more solution-oriented.
What are maladaptive emotion regulation strategies?
Self-blame: The person constantly blames himself for what he has experienced. The persistence of self-blaming thoughts negatively affects one's self-esteem and self-worth. The person who blames himself often underestimates his potential to solve the problem, which prevents the person from taking action.
Focusing on thought (Rumination) / Deep thinking: The person tends to think constantly and repetitively on feelings and thoughts in relation to negative events. Identifying with negative thoughts is likely to lead to pessimism and depression. Loss in thought is the executioner of action.
Catastrophizing: The person tends to catastrophize the events instead of rationally evaluating them. Thoughts about the worst of everything and the horror of events are quite prevalent.
Other-blame: The person often blames others for their experiences. This situation inhibits the person's ability to take responsibility for events. At this point, while the person is constantly blaming others, he misses the things that he can change under his own control. It is deprived of the power and happiness that the consciousness of taking responsibility gives to people.
Compatible emotion regulation strategies
Acceptance: Thoughts of accepting what they have experienced are dominant. Accepting one's experience is like digesting a meal. Unaccepted experiences, such as indigestible food, disrupt the natural functioning of one's metabolism and make the person sick.
Positive refocusing: Thinking about things that will bring satisfaction rather than catastrophizing the real event. This does not diminish the reality of the event. But focusing on the positive improves one's focus, allowing them to see different possibilities on the subject.
Refocus on planning: It is the person's thinking about what steps to take in order to cope with the event. This method prevents the person from focusing on negative thoughts, identifying with negative thoughts and getting lost in thought.
Positive reappraisal: It is the person's attributing a positive meaning to the event in terms of personal development. This is what we call seeing the glass half full.
Putting into perspective: Here, compared to other events, the thoughts that play a role in alleviating the weight of the experienced event dominate. Looking at the event from different perspectives can change the degree of the event for the person.
If you feel that you are using more maladaptive mood regulation strategies, you can take steps to change this situation. Stoicism, one of the most important movements of Hellenistic philosophy, argues that people can reach happiness when they focus on what they can control and live in accordance with nature. While it is quite difficult to control the outside world, the best we can do is try to focus on our own choices.
“What your thoughts are, so is your life. If you want to change the course of your life, change your thoughts.”
Marcus Aurelius
Source:
Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Schweizer, S. (2010). Emotion-regulation strategies across psychopathology: A meta-analytic review. Clinical psychology review, 30(2), 217-237.
Garnefski, N., Kraaij, V. and Spinhoven, P. (2002). CERQ: Manual for the use of the cognitive emotion regulation questionnaire. DATEC.
Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of general psychology, 2(3), 271-299.
